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Emoji that!: Chevy decodes emoticon announcement

Becca Smouse
USA TODAY
USA TODAY's Becca Smouse shows off her translation of Chevy's emoji press release

So when it comes to decyphering a news release made up entirely of emotocons, how did we do? Not so great overall, but with occasional flashes of brilliance.

Chevrolet turned to "emoji" for its announcement about the next version of its popular Cruze compact car, due to be unveiled Wednesday. The brand wrote its latest press release on the 2016 Cruze entirely in those little smilies, yuck faces and other symbols that you can send along with an email to express emotions.

Chevrolet issued this press release for the next Cruze written entirely in emotocons

Here's how we interpreted the release on Monday followed by what Chevy was actually trying to say, as sent out in English on Tuesday. First, our version:

2015 – 06 – 22

People love cars

DETROIT – Day and night, we've been working on a new car chicks will love. Integrated smartphone technology, measuring your bowling average, and great gas for an active lifestyle. Thumbs up for new bread, with shoes, lipstick, and dancing, you'll want to tell all of your friends. Driving dad will say, "This idea of a new car could change the world."

  • Measure: Our car has a strong sport performance, award winning, you'll love it.
  • Phone/wireless performance: Phones, phones, phones, phones, phones in the car, cool, but wait there's more! Cars love phones. Ha! There's a touchpad. The speakers play music.
  • Seats: The seats are so nice, you'll be running to dance in them. Holla!
  • Gas: In 2015, our cars got 35 miles to the gallon in the city. But now, in 2016, mileage has gone up! Time is ticking until July 15 when charts will go up.
  • Caution: You're thinking bag, wallet, purse, bag. Either way, you're a star!
  • Car: Will go green.
  • Car: Will go global.

Drive from sun up to sun down, to the ocean, to the mountains and through a rainbow, all day into the night in the city! Drive with your phone and with great gas, like riding on a roller coaster – it's going to be awesome.

Since 1911 in Detroit. Chevy worldwide. Chevy, great on gas. You'll be so happy about that.

Check us out on your computer or phone a www.chevrolet.com

Now here's the Chevy translation:

DETROIT — In two days at the Fillmore Theatre at 7 p.m., a new Cruze will be born and you are going to love it. The all-new 2016 Cruze blends innovative technology, striking design and impressive efficiency into one sporty ride. It's the best new thing since sliced bread for stylish and socially connected people. A Chevrolet spokesperson said: "We had the idea that the new Cruze could change the world."

  • Design: Athletic build, stylish and good looking
  • Technology: 7 connected devices with available 4G LTE Wi-Fi. Cool! First in its class to offer compatibility with Apple Carplay and Android Auto. Bluetooth compatible. Touch screen. Speakers/music.
  • Seating: Seats 5
  • Fuel efficiency: The 2015 Cruze offers an EPA-estimated 35 MPG HWY. The 2016 Cruze is expected to offer better fuel economy, which is awesome. Look at how much time will pass before you need to fill up your tank again!
  • Safety: 10 air bags. Comes with OnStar standard for 6 months.
  • Available: Soon! Coming in Spring 2016.
  • Available: Globally

In conclusion, get ready to go places in your Cruze. It's got the technology and fuel efficiency you need wrapped up in a fun ride. Prepare to fall in love.

Chevy has been tracking the progress of their emoji-only release across social media with their hashtag #ChevyGoesEmoji.

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